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April 7 , 2008
"Give all your problems to God - He'll be up all night anyway!"
When I first heard this saying I instantly thought of all the nights I used to lay in bed worrying, rehashing, or trying to solve all my problems. In fact, before early recovery it was actually easier to sleep because I would use drugs or alcohol or even enmeshment with other people to help distract me. But when I entered the program, it seemed like it was just me and my problems - I didn't get a lot of sleep!
It took a long time for me to develop enough faith to turn my will and my life (and problems) over to my Higher Power. The idea of it sounded good, but it proved very difficult to do in practice. Oh I could turn it over in my morning meditation, but by noon I had usually taken it all back. And by night? Whew! It was just me and my problems again!
As I progressed in my recovery, I learned that the definition of faith is believing what you cannot see, and the reward of faith is seeing what you believe. Through faith and a developing practice of turning situations, people and problems over to God, I've been rewarded with a life that is, for the most part, happy joyous and free.
And now when I go to sleep, I give all my problems to God because my
faith tells me he'll be up all night anyway!
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